Forgiveness Part 2

How to Ask for Forgiveness Biblically – Part Two

Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts we can give or receive, and yet, one of the most difficult. In our last lesson, we began exploring the five essential components of a sincere, biblical apology. We examined the importance of expressing regret, accepting responsibility, and making restitution. These steps are crucial when a relationship has been damaged by sin or offense. Without them, a barrier remains—cutting off fellowship, trust, and peace. Today, we turn to the final two components: genuine repentance and requesting forgiveness.

Genuine Repentance: A Change of Mind and Life

True repentance means a change of heart that leads to a change in behavior. It is not merely feeling sorry—it is a decision to turn away from sin and commit to doing better. When we repent as part of an apology, we are letting the other person know we do not intend to repeat the offense. That’s what it means to “bear fruits worthy of repentance” (Luke 3:8).

John the Baptist made this clear when he preached a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. When the crowds asked what repentance looked like, he gave specific answers: share with the needy, stop cheating, stop intimidating, be content. Repentance wasn’t just about emotion—it was action. (Luke 3:3–14)

Repentance must be intentional, and it should be expressed directly. Saying “I want to change,” or “I don’t want to hurt you like that again,” lets the offended person know your heart. And yes, this needs to be done face to face when at all possible. Sincere repentance is not a performance—it’s a personal, vulnerable act of humility.

Requesting Forgiveness: Asking the Question That Heals

The fifth and final step of a sincere apology is simply this: ask for forgiveness. Say the words: “Will you forgive me?” This cannot be assumed. It must be requested. Saying these words accomplishes three vital things.

First, it signals that you want the relationship restored. Jesus said in Matthew 5:23–24 that if you are offering a gift at the altar and remember your brother has something against you, you must first go be reconciled—then come and offer your gift. Reconciliation is a prerequisite to worship. Asking for forgiveness demonstrates your desire to remove the barrier between you and the one you’ve wronged.

Second, it shows that you understand your offense. It’s an admission of guilt. When the Israelites recognized their sin in asking for a king, they said, “We have added to all our sins this evil” (1 Samuel 12:19). A sincere request for forgiveness tells the other person, “I know what I did was wrong—and I’m not hiding from it.”

Third, asking for forgiveness puts the future of the relationship in the other person’s hands. That’s why it’s so hard. You lose control. You open yourself to rejection. You make yourself vulnerable. Some refuse to ask simply because they fear hearing “No.” Others equate apologizing with failure. But that’s not weakness—that’s strength. It’s maturity. It’s the only way forward.

Why Some Struggle to Forgive

Forgiveness isn’t always easy for the person being asked. Some offenses carry deep emotional wounds, betrayal, or long-lasting consequences. Like Joseph’s brothers who sold him into slavery, the hurt may run deep. Joseph chose to forgive them, but it was his choice (Genesis 45:4–8). When we ask someone to forgive us, they may wrestle with whether or not we deserve it.

Others may hesitate because the consequences are permanent. A drunk driver may leave someone paralyzed. A slanderous word may ruin a reputation. Even if forgiven, the scars may remain—and so may the struggle to forgive.

Still others may struggle when the offense has been repeated many times. Forgiveness is possible, but trust must be rebuilt. Sincerity must be proven. As the Chinese proverb says, “When you bow, bow low.” When you ask for forgiveness, do it with humility.

Forgiveness Is a Serious Request

We must never take forgiveness lightly. When we ask someone to forgive us, we are making a huge request. In our society, sin is minimized—lying, cheating, stealing, and hurting others are brushed off. But God sees it differently. Sin separates. Sin destroys. That’s why forgiveness is so significant.

And remember: forgiveness can never be demanded. It is a gift only the offended can give. When we apologize, we acknowledge that we do not deserve it. We are asking—not assuming.

Most importantly, this entire process mirrors our relationship with God. God offers forgiveness through Christ—but He requires repentance, confession, and obedience. If we want to remain in fellowship with Him, we must continue walking in the light and confessing our sins (1 John 1:7–9).

If we do, He is faithful. He will erase those wrongs—completely. That’s the power of divine forgiveness.

Sermon Outline – Forgiveness Part 2

1. Introduction: Review of Part 1

   • Expressing regret, accepting responsibility, making restitution

2. Genuine Repentance

   • Luke 3:3–14; Luke 13:3

   • Change of heart and behavior

   • Repentance must be expressed sincerely

3. Requesting Forgiveness

   • Matthew 5:23–24; 1 Samuel 12:19

   • Why we must ask for it

   • Losing control, fear of rejection, fear of failure

4. Why Forgiveness Is Difficult

   • Joseph’s brothers (Genesis 45)

   • Long-term consequences

   • Repeated offenses and rebuilding trust

5. Conclusion: The Weight of the Request

   • Forgiveness is never small

   • Cannot be demanded—must be humbly asked

   • Mirrors how we seek forgiveness from God

Call to Action

Have you apologized like God calls you to? Have you expressed regret, taken responsibility, made things right, repented, and asked for forgiveness? Don’t let pride keep you from healing a broken relationship. More importantly, have you made things right with God?

If not, do it today. Repent. Confess. Be baptized for the forgiveness of sins (Acts 2:38). And if you’re already a Christian, but have sinned—seek restoration now. God’s mercy is great. But forgiveness must be asked for.

Say the words. Bow low. God is listening.